When I was 12 years old, I started taking acting classes in one of the most long-established acting schools of Rio de Janeiro. It is called O Tablado; a small theater that was founded by playwright Maria Clara Machado in the early 50s. I did not want to become an actor – never. I was just trying to chase my shyness away, and learn how to speak up. Back then I already knew that I wanted to work in the Arts and Literature world – and I suspected that boldness would be a very im

In the past fifteen years, I took up meditation as part of my daily routine. Sometimes weekly, after quarantine daily, and it became very essential to me. For a long time, I did it without knowing what was really going on deep inside of me – or why it is so powerful. Then I started getting more interested, studying and practicing regularly, and getting to genuinely understand the mechanism that is behind this extremely simple (yet totally complex) practice. During quarantine

When I became single, I had to carve out some survival rules. I had been in a relationship since I was 18 (and now I was turning 30). I didn’t have my own bank account, I had no idea I could fall asleep alone, I was used to squeezing all my make-up on the shared sink – in other words, I had no idea on how to navigate the world without a partner. When I became single, all I had was: - a 3 year old toddler and a 12 month old baby - a badly paid career as a screenwriter and book

My flight departed from Charles de Gaulle early morning on May 17th, 1991. I had a backpack, many expectations, and still nowhere to stay. But I wasn't worried, specially now that I had a contact there – just in case. The airplane was filled with people going to the film festival: young and beautiful women, journalists, photographers, agents, actors and directors, executives from all ends of the movie industry. I could look at each one of them and assign a job. Fairy Godmothe

As I told you in my last post, Laura in Paris, I was able to purchase last minute tickets to the Cannes Film Festival, 1991 edition. I was ecstatic. After four cups of tea and two cigarettes, I decided I would go disguised as a Brazilian journalist, covering for a local newspaper. I spend precious hours carving a stamp out of a big raw potato with a sharp knife: I engraved the initials of the newspaper and the current date. Well, of course I used a letter-headed notepad that

It was a bright afternoon in Paris, maybe too luminous for my spirits, when I left the small screening room after watching La Strada, by Fellini. To better cope with the impact the film had on me, I decided to walk back home. A long but delightful promenade. Spring was already pushing throughout the city, coloring corners of once lifeless streets. The sun was warm enough for me to enjoy it at the Jardin de Luxembourg. I let myself sink in an uncomfortable iron chair, amazed b

*this post concludes the stories contained in Love Intuition and Without Reason. Nevertheless, you don’t need to read the posts to get this story. We saw each other for one year, during which we would spend a lot of time with our girls. Happy, beautiful family. His daughter became very attached to me, although we never admitted on being an official couple. In other words, our girls thought we were just friends. He wanted to finalize the divorce before we could come out as an

Last week I talked about my undesired and unexpected pregnancy at 18 on the post My Body, My Rules. After talking to my boyfriend and discussing it with my mother, I was faced with a decision that could only be taken by myself. And I would have to live with it for the rest of my life. In both scenarios – keeping or getting rid of the embryo – I would be the one to deal with remorse, guilt, satisfaction and relief. My body, my life, my rules. But which were my rules? 1 – I was

It runs in my family: fertility. Therefore, we have some abortion legends that are still alive. My great-grandmother, who passed when she was 97-year-old, told me she had 17 abortions back in old Russia – all performed with some kind of tea. Three kids, one of them my grandfather. Total of twenty pregnancies! I cannot imagine all the pain associated with all this. And I feel deeply sorry that she could not experience the benefits of contraception. My wonderful great-grandmoth

(read prequel Haunted House) After witnessing paranormal activities in my house, and the beginning of what looked like a possession of one of my daughters, I had to come up with a plan to get out of my haunted rental! I had to protect my girls at any price! Those pics were taken in the haunted building. How far would I go to protect my girls? All the way! During the following days after I was awakened by one of my girls babbling in a different language, I freaked out. Big, hu

Do you believe in ghosts? Spirits? Haunted places? I do. No, nobody told me. No book or film impressed me. I have experienced - heard and saw - things that cannot be explained through science. Paranormal electronic activity. How do you explain when a disconnected printer starts spitting paper in the middle of the night? Well, here is how I experienced this first intense contact with the spiritual world. I have always been deeply connected to my dreams, and somehow believed so

During the winter break of 2008, I decided to spend my only savings by taking a memorable and cheap trip to Chile with one of my best friends, Vida, her two kids and my two girls. I pictured this trip on my mind to be a wine-sipping, girl-gossiping, kids-fun trip. I wanted to ski some, drive some, visit Santiago and Viña del Mar, and get inspired for my books, even maybe my personal life. I was hoping that being with a loving couple in their farmhouse would inspire me to get

I got all enthusiastic when an upcoming director from São Paulo called me about a project. “You are so talented, I want you onboard this project,” he said on the phone. “My secretary will send you a plane ticket for a meeting tomorrow in São Paulo, ok?” Yeah, I though, I will hop on a plane to get a new project! Of course! Work! Money! Weinstein Style I put on my best jeans and heals, the lucky-charm blazer, a buttoned-up shirt and boarded the 8 am flight from Rio de Janeiro

Ten years ago, confronted with the premature decline of my production company, due to a false rumor (read post Lies that Destroy); and the fact that without the company I could no longer pay the rent, I got depressed. Not in a had-to-take-pills way, but in that underlying way that makes us uncomfortable enough to not be able to see our future. Spinning Around When the holidays came, my ex announced that he would keep the girls for New Years’. It would be a first in six years!

I know we all like to say how cool our parents are – yes, there is a tacit competition in humankind to have the best folks. I really got a golden ticket, since the day I was born. I have the coolest parents I could ask for. My parents gave me love, a lot, but also the kind of guidance and friendship that allowed me to feel (and be) free while maintaining my feet on the ground. Prequel They met in 1969 at a Communist Party meeting. Ana Maria, a raised catholic, and Mauro, the

Last week I told you about how I fell in love with a guy I first saw in my dreams – go back and read post “Love Intuition”! This post is the continuation of that story. After bumping into Vincent every single day of the week, we met at our friend Julien’s goodbye party. As we sat there, I pretended that I could disguise the huge attraction I was feeling for that guy and enjoy my best friend’s company. No Prank At the end of the night, Vincent asked for a lift, as we were head

Julien, my male best friend in life, the closest thing to a brother I will ever have – came to visit Rio de Janeiro from Paris. Because of the nature of our relationship, a true fraternal intimacy, I ended up telling him tidbits of my romantic adventures, and how much after four years as a spinster I was ready to be in a relationship. Julien, who has always been in long and serious love stories (yes, he is the kind of guy you only dream of meeting) mentioned something very ra

When I was finishing my last published novel, back in 2012, I locked myself in my office and wrote away. It was Summer in Brazil and my girls got invited to travel with my father and his wife; then with my mom. I got almost three weeks alone, during which I wrote eighteen hours a day, obviously making myself sick to the point I had to go to the ER twice with a gastritis and tendinitis in both arms. The only things I would ever leave the house for were my Pilates, and some gro

Last week I told you how I met Romain, in an empty movie theater in the North of France, back in 1990. And how we kissed and made plans for a first real date. I spent the next day smiling, filled with hope and excitement that I would seethat stranger again. As any 16 year old, I spent the day at school and went home around 4pm. I took a nice bath, shaved my legs and applied my new French perfume – L'Insolant, a title that would soon fit me well. I was becoming a little bit cy

When I was 16 years old, I spent a year in France as an exchange student. Part of this time I was based in the north of the country, in a small city called Tourcoing, staying with a couple. They were not supposed to foster me, but long story short, I ended up there, right in the middle of their marital crisis. They would split their time between fighting or running away from each other – and from the house. Sandra was a costume designer and did Opera wardrobe, which led her t